It seems that the thing which most helps me be a productive adult is medication, and I'm okay with that.
So here I am after a long absence again, the short version being - we moved house, I got pregnant (yay!), we lost my father in law, which was awful, and gained a baby, which was unexpectedly traumatic, but we are ok. The baby is wonderful and obviously the most perfect human ever to be born, and since I'm not pregnant any more I saw a doctor about my ADHD and am trialling medication for it now. Oh, and the ten year old was diagnosed with almost exactly the same profile as me, so that also happened. I am supposed to call a therapist for him, but I'm not that cured yet, so I keep forgetting. And we are floundering about the potentially imminent Brexit, because we had sort of vaguely thought that our companies were likely to sort out things like visas, and stupidly didn't bother to look up the requirements for these things, and it turns out that when your qualifications are things like a handful of unconnected, half finished courses and some stray peanuts, you're not that attractive of an immigrant. So that's just a constant imminent threatening hum in the background.
But yes. For now, I'm trialling 25mg of nortriptyline, which my doctor explained should cause my body to create noradrenaline appropriately, and therefore enable me to access that calm, reasonable, next step figuring out self who usually only appears when there is some kind of emergency going on and I'm making the hard stuff, actual adrenaline. And at the same time somehow live as though there isn't a massive emergency very very slowly happening between the country I still think of as home and the continent which has adopted me. Slow disasters I have never been especially good at managing anyway, this one even less so, because nobody seems to know what is happening, I can barely understand the coverage and there is literally nothing left that we can do to prepare anyway.
