(This entry was started back in August, when we first moved)
I forgot how draining and repetitive and, in short, how much work it is to rebuild a network of friends. Even reading/thinking that sounds so callous when you think about what friendship is and how important friends actually become to your life. It feels surreal now to think that in a few years some of the people I am meeting now may go on to be close friends.
I have done it before, and I can do it again, and this time I have the support of my existing friendship network, even if they are 600 miles away. And I have Creepy, of course. The last time I was consciously building a support network I had lost almost all of my old friends due to the isolation inflicted on me by my ex, and I was still rediscovering who I was after being in such a restrictive cocoon of a relationship, AND suffering from depression to boot. I have my wings, now, and that does help a lot. But. It's still painful to travel for almost an hour on a swelteringly hot tram and feel that the whole exercise was a failure because Mini-D barely made eye contact with any of the other children and instead just quietly attempted to eat all of the host's lovingly prepared snacks. It wasn't a failure, of course. I met some more people and I learned some more things about the local area and I used my general shell-shockedness about the move to try to cover up my ignorance of social cues (I seriously need to work on this. So awkward.) And I made progress. It's just that the process of building a friendship is so slow that when you are really relying on it, it's noticeable.
But it will all be worth it in the end.
We have been here for around 6 months and the process of friend making is still slow. However, I now have three or four people who I could call on for help in my local neighbourhood. I am figuring out who I have similarities with and who I don't and who is kind. I have a job which makes me meet people and soon I will be learning to drive - learning with people is a great friend-maker, I find.
Things are less awkward, and more easy, already.